Why We Envy Others and Fail to See Them as Allies

Envy is a feeling most people try to deny or suppress, yet it appears when we see someone living a life we secretly want for ourselves. It often comes with anger, irritation, and self-criticism, making us believe that if someone else has achieved something, there is no space left for us. This belief turns other people into rivals and convinces us that success, happiness, and love are limited resources.

In reality, envy is not a sign of weakness but a signal of an unfulfilled desire. We begin to suffer when comparison always works against us and strengthens the idea that we are incapable of achieving the same things. Social media intensifies this effect by constantly showing polished versions of other people’s lives, which makes our own path feel slow, late, or impossible. Over time, envy can block action and trap us in negative thoughts about ourselves.

The turning point comes when we stop seeing others as competitors and start seeing them as proof of possibility. Someone else’s success does not take anything away from us; it shows that such a path exists. When we change the inner message from “I will never have this” to “If they could do it, maybe I can too,” envy loses its destructive power and becomes a source of direction.

Envy points directly to what truly matters to us. Instead of pushing it away, it is more useful to ask who exactly we envy and why. Very often, behind envy lies a dream we are afraid to pursue due to insecurity or fear of failure. Taking even a small step toward that desire, asking questions, learning from others, or trying something new can transform envy into inspiration. When we do this, other people stop being obstacles and become guides on a path we once believed was closed to us.