Why Feeling Needed Is Important and When It Becomes Dangerous
The desire to feel needed is connected to a deep inner need to experience meaning in life and to understand one’s personal value. Often, this feeling is formed through receiving attention, support, and acceptance from others. When a person feels important, their actions gain meaning, and life no longer feels empty or pointless.
Feeling needed helps a person experience a sense of belonging. Knowing that someone depends on you can protect against loneliness and create inner stability. When this feeling arises mutually and voluntarily, it brings warmth and trust into relationships.
However, problems arise when a person feels significant only through one individual. In such cases, dependency, control, and hidden pressure can develop. Feeling needed then becomes not an expression of love, but a way to fill an inner emptiness.
Social changes also influence how this need appears. In different periods, groups in need of attention and closeness may change, but the core reason remains the same, a lack of care, warmth, and emotional support. An excessive desire to be needed is often a sign of this deficit.
In some cases, this need is fulfilled through a child. Although a child is a separate individual, they may become an emotional support for the parent. This interferes with the child’s independent development and limits their personal boundaries. In such situations, the adult’s emotional state takes priority over the child’s needs.
The solution lies in finding a sense of importance in several areas of life. A person must first learn to be valuable to themselves. Caring for oneself, investing time in personal growth, and taking responsibility for one’s own life are essential. In addition, partnerships, friendships, professional environments, and community life allow a person to feel meaningful without dependency.
In healthy relationships, a child is not a tool for meeting a parent’s emotional needs, but a person who receives care and support. In such an environment, the child feels accepted as they are, while adults can relate to each other with respect rather than control.
In conclusion, the issue is not the desire to be needed, but the attempt to prove one’s value through a single source. When a person constantly tries to be convenient and please others, they face inner conflict. True closeness emerges only where freedom, mutual respect, equality, and genuine connection exist.
