Parental prescriptions and their impact on finances
Why do some people earn less and others more?
It is not always about education or abilities. Often the difference is in courage and freedom from stereotypes and negative parental prescriptions.
Parental prescriptions are attitudes that either develop or hold back a child. As psychologist Eric Berne noted, a person often becomes what he is allowed to be. His followers, Mary and Robert Goulding, identified 12 key prescriptions.
Don’t grow up
Some parents do not want their children to grow up, fearing to lose their significance. Such a prescription ties the child down and prevents him from becoming independent.
Don’t think
Phrases like “too young to have an opinion” instill in the child uncertainty in his own decisions, which leads to difficulties in independent life.
Don’t be successful
Parents can unconsciously suppress their children’s successes due to jealousy. Phrases such as “if you fail your exams, you’ll become a chef” undermine the desire to achieve.
Do nothing
This prescription is found in parents who do not believe in their child’s abilities: “I’d rather do it myself,” “you’ll always screw everything up.” It instills helplessness and insecurity.
Don’t be the first
Such people are afraid to play leading roles and avoid leadership. Phrases such as “sit and shut up” teach them not to stand out and not to take initiative.
Don’t be different
Parents who say “you’re not like everyone else” instill a fear of being unique in their children. This leads to difficulties in social life and prevents them from achieving financial success.
American psychologist Taibi Kahler identified five reverse parental prescriptions, called drivers. They encourage “correct” behavior, but limit freedom of choice.
Be the best
People with this driver constantly strive for perfection, but always feel that they are not good enough, which leads to eternal dissatisfaction with themselves.
Try
The preparation process is important, but a person often does not get to the action, wasting energy.
Make others happy
Such people sacrifice their interests for the sake of praise from others, which often leads to underestimation of their work.
Be strong
This driver makes you hide your emotions and avoid help. Such people take on too much work and do not ask for decent pay.
Hurry
People with this driver are always in a hurry and often do not have time. They value the process, not the result, which prevents them from achieving success.
The influence of parental prescriptions can manifest itself in the attitude towards money, which is formed not only under the influence of family, but also literature or films. For example, fairy tales teach that money is a reward for a virtuous life, but it must be spent wisely. In some stories, wealth is opposed to happiness, which reinforces a negative attitude towards money.
Ultimately, it’s important to become aware of your beliefs about money that were formed in childhood and perhaps seek help from a psychologist to correct them.
